The FullMetal Alchemist Interviews

by Full Fledged Alchemist

 

Interview with the spirit of Maes Hughes

Interview with a Vengeful Spirit

 

ff:  Hello everyone, today we will be interviewing the former Maes Hughes.

Hughes:  Former?  What do you mean?  I'm right here!!

 

ff:  Well, yeah but that's only thanks to our shaman friend over there....*points to a creepy girl in the corner*

Anna:  Let's get this over with, I charge by the minute.

 

ff:  Say hi to Anna from Shaman King, everyone.  Here tonight as our assistant to talk to Mr. Hughes.

Hughes:  *serious*  Call me Maes and........HERE'S MY BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER ALICIA!!!!!!!  *pulls out a wad of pictures*  Isn't she adorable!?!

 

ff:  *sweatdrop*  Why do they always make me do the crazy ones????

Hughes:  *begins to kiss pictures*  Yes, daddy's watching over you, yes he is, yes he is!

 

ff:  *sweatdrop*  Okay, first question.....when exactly did you meet you wife?

Hughes:  *serious mode*  Hmm...I'd to say when we were about 25....

 

ff:  How?

Hughes:  *idiot mode*  We saw each other across the room....IT WAS LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!!!!  *tiny hearts float everywhere*  She was so beautiful and....HOT!!!!  SHE HAD TO BE THE HOTTEST BABE AT THE PARTY, YEAH!!!!!!

 

ff:  *falls over*  This guy...is....nuts....somebody...help me.

Hughes:  *pokes interviewer-(but technically his goes right through her)*  Hey...you okay?

 

ff:  *quickly regains cool*  Okay, next, when did you meet Mustang-and how?

Hughes:  *serious mode*  Well....I'd have to say we were both eighteen and caught him looking into the female officer's changing rooms.....

 

ff:  *rolls eyes*  Typical.  Then what?

Hughes:  Well....I joined in spying...on the beautiful specimens....and...we've stuck together ever since!

 

ff:  *evil grin*  Did you continue to spy after you got married?

Hughes:  Ah...well...um...not...may-be...

 

ff:  I heard Mustang's hitting on your wife.

Hughes:  *evil look*  Oh he is, is he?  Well....I'll have to pay him a little vis-it...Mwhahahahhahahahaha!!!!

 

ff:  Why can't (or why don't) you use alchemy?

Hughes:  I've never had to, I prefer not to fight but if I have to I'd rather relay on my own abilities and not some science.

 

ff:  So, what have you done since you died?

Hughes:  Oh, you know the usual, go to purgatory, go to heaven, come back and visit my little girl, visit my ever lovely wife.

 

ff:  *sweatdrop*  Us-us-usual!?!

Hughes:  Oh, yeah and appearing in Mustang's dreams and telling him to find a wife!

 

ff:  By the way...about Mustang, do you really think he'll ever settle down?

Hughes:  Of course not, he's to much of a player for that.  (Unless we're talking about the Lt. of course.)  *Insert evil laugh here*

 

ff:  Just how do you get all those pictures of your daughter?  Do you follow her around everywhere or-

Anna:  Okay, we're out of time...

Hughes:  Bye!  *waves and disappears*

jh:  Wait!   Hughes you idiot, get back here!!

 

-Interview with a Vengeful Spirit-

-End-

 

-Interview with Alex Louis Armstrong, the Strongarm Alchemist-

-Interview with "Mr. Sparkles"-

 

Part 1

 

ff:  Hello, Armstrong.  How are you today?

Armstrong:  Wonderful!!!  Shall dictate to you the story of my family's brave and perilous journey to-

 

ff:  Not today, thanks.  But you could tell me what you think of your commanding officer, Roy Mustang.

Armstrong:  A brave and marvelous soldier!!!!  Just like my great, great-

 

ff:  And what about the Elrics?

Armstrong:  Such a sad history!!!!  *waterfall tears*  I truly hope that one day their dream will come true!!!!!!

 

ff:  Umm..here.  *holds out Handkerchief*

Armstrong:  Thank you!!

 

ff:  So, why is it you favor your, "strong-arm techniques" over a different form of alchemy?

Armstrong:  *Sparklies*  Those techniques were passed down the Armstrong line for generations.....

 

ff:  *Sweatdrop*  I guess I should have seen that one coming....So Armstrong, what about your feelings for the rest of Mustang's "underlings"?

Armstrong:  All brave and honorable men!!!  (And one woman...)  Just like-

 

ff:  Why do you take your shirt off so much?

Armstrong:  Simple!  So that everyone can see my beautiful muscles!!!  *rips off shirt*  See?  Are they not the most gorgeous things you have ever seen?  I trained them using a technique that was passed down the Armstrong line for....

 

ff:  Generations!!!  We know!  Now, for the question you've been waiting for...tell us about your family.

*Cricket chirp, cricket chirp*

Armstrong:  *bone crushing hug*  No one's ever asked me that question before!!!  *waterfall tears*  Thank you!!! 

 

ff:  *unable to answer due to several broken bones*

{We regret to inform you that this interview could not be completed due to the interviewer's injuries and we are sorry for any inconvenience this may cause you}

 

-Interview with "Mr. Sparkles"-

Part 1

-End-

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