Forgive and Forget

by Jackie

 

Set: after Kiri but before the kittens come

Summary: Mushra, Sago, and Kutal forgave Yakumo for going to “Shinzo” with Kiri and sending them away, but forgetting is a lot harder than forgiving. Sago’s problem getting over what happened with Yakumo. Sago’s POV

“Words”: spoken

Words: thoughts

Words: dream

(&&&&&&&)

“We’ll go to Shinzo together, just the two of us,” Yakumo said to Kiri. “Everything will be OK. I promise.”

“I see. So that’s how it is, huh?” Mushra said resentfully.

Yakumo looked at him confused. “What?”

“You feel just like she does,” Mushra said. “Even after all we’ve been through, you don’t trust us.”

“Mushra I-”

“Deep down in your heart you think we’re all monsters, don’t you?” he interrupted Yakumo.

“Of course she does!” Kiri blurted out. “She’s a human being, and all humans hate Enterrans!”

“Kiri, don’t.”

“Why don’t you go away and leave us alone!” Kiri shouted.

“Is that how you feel, Yakumo?” I asked.

“Is Kiri right?” Kutal asked.

“I um, I don’t, I mean,” Yakumo stuttered.

“Please say that’s how you feel. You’re a human being, and Enterrans destroyed our world. Oh, please say you’re on my side because if you don’t, all hope is gone.” Kiri started to cry and Yakumo hugged her.

“Oh, Kiri.”

“So what’s it gonna be?” Mushra demanded. “Kiri or us?”

“Mushra, please don’t force me to choose. I-”

“Tell them, Yakumo,” Kiri said. “Tell them you wanted them to go away.”

“Well, Yakumo?” Mushra pressed.

“This is so hard. You are my friends, but to join humans again and find out what happened to my father. Please understand, I must do this.”

“You’re with her,” Mushra concluded.

“Mushra,” Yakumo said.

“Who needs you?” Mushra jumped down from the tree we were all hiding in.

“Mushra, wait,” Yakumo called.

“Let him go,” Kiri said.

“We’d better get going as well, Kutal,” I said.

“Sago-”

“I’ve always made it a practice of mine never to stick around where I’m not wanted.” I turned away from Yakumo and jumped from the tree as well.

“I’ll certainly miss traveling with you, Yakumo.”

“Kutal-”

“I hope you find everything you’re looking for in Shinzo.” Kutal was the last to jump from the tree, and the three of us went in different directions.

I woke up and sighed. It was late, almost dawn, and we were at our camp for the night. I sat up and looked around. Yakumo was sleeping in Hakuba, and Mushra and Kutal were on either side of me. I put my head in my hands and sighed. Why am I having these dreams?

Ever since the incident with Kiri I’ve been having dreams, flashbacks, about when Yakumo decided to go to “Shinzo” without us. I understand that she was confused, but it still hurt to know she would even consider wanting us to leave after all we had gone through. While everyone else in the world is against her, we won’t abandon her.

I forgave Yakumo for her mistake. How could I not? It’s something you can’t help, forgiving your friends for their mistakes, no matter how badly they screw up. We were all hurt, but the three of us forgave her because we love her. Mushra’s in love with Yakumo, but that’s not the point.

I shifted slightly and stood up, careful not to trip over Mushra as I stepped over him. I walked over to a tree and climbed a third of the way up and rested on a branch where I could just sit and think.

Am I overreacting? Is this really not such a big deal after all? The others probably aren’t having thoughts like this. So why am I?

Because you can’t forget about it, I answered my own question. You trusted her and she broke that trust. Sure, you’re giving her that trust again, but you’re not entirely convinced that she wouldn’t leave again if another human were to offer to take her to Shinzo without you.

I realized that this part of my brain was right, while at the same time wondered if I was going crazy because I was asking myself questions and answering them. And why was I talking to myself in second person?

I shook my head and looked down. The sun had risen, and I could see Yakumo stirring. She looked around and then looked confused and concerned. I watched as she got up and started walking around like she lost something and was looking for it. I shrugged and leaned against the tree trunk.

What does it take to fully trust someone? A bond? Friendship? Love? Forgiveness? A blind spot where that person is concerned? The ability to forget about the things they’ve done?

All of those, I decided. It takes all of those things for trust to develop. I heard something below me, and I looked down.

“Sago!” Yakumo called as she climbed up the tree. She took the hand I offered to her, and I pulled her up next to me.

“What are you doing up here?” I asked her.

“I was looking for you. I didn’t see you anywhere at the camp, and I wanted to make sure you were alright,” Yakumo said.

Always thinking about others. “I’m fine,” I assured her.

“So what are you doing?”

“Just thinking.” I smiled at her, and she smiled back.

“Hey, you guys!” Mushra called from the ground. “Come on down here! We’re getting ready to go!”

“We’re coming!” I called back down. Yakumo and I started to slowly climb back down the tree.

I began to accept that the incident with Kiri happened in the past and put it behind me. What happens happens, and it’s what’s on the road ahead that’s important.

The End