Dual! Parallel Trouble Adventure

by Drago

Episode 2: House Hunter
 
Well, if you've read the first Ep of this fic then I won't explain. Most of these are comedy, but there'll be some times where it's dead serious. So here we go! Oh, by the way... Kurt sounds like Spyke from Cowboy Bebop and looks like him too (with shorter hair). And Knives looks like a gold  version of Vash (The Drakmech).

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"What do you mean I gotta buy a house?!!??!?!" Takio yelled from a room a day after his first battle.

"That's right, everyone must buy a house. I refuse to put up with 800 people at my house anymore." The Mr. Trinity of  this universe (the one Takio's in now) replied.

"But I have no money..." Takio said.

"That's not my problem." Mr. Trinity replied.

"Daddy... why can't you give Takio some money?" Rem asked.

"I don't wanna. It's my money, all $100,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 of it." Mr. Trinity replied.

"But you gave Kurt money." Rem said in slight whiny voice.

"Kurt's a different story, he's a robot, and I like him better." Mr. Trinity replied smiling.

"Wait... who's Kurt?" Takio asked.
"That would be me." a transparent figure said from the corner of the room.

"Ah!!!!!  Monster!" Takio yelled as he tried to run out the door but ran into Rem's breasts.
"Pervert!" Rem yelled as she tossed Takio out the window(3rd story).

"Ow! Dammit!" Takio yelled as he hit the ground and stood up. A pair of big, mean dobermans (the dog... duh...) walked up to him growling. "Oh shit! Run away!" Takio yelled as he started climbing up the side of the building. Rem looked out the window as the dobermans bit him on the ass.

"Ow!!!!!!!!!" Takio yelled. Scene fades out and back in to a hospital part of the building.
"Oh Takio... I'm sorry." Rem said with a slight smile on her face, like she was holding back a laugh.

"It's not funny... that hurt..." Takio said with a full body cast. There's a burst of laughter (from the transparent figure) from inside the room and a pair of mechanical snickers (from Vash and a transparent Drakmech) as well. "It's all your fault Kurt..." Takio said annoyed as the figure and the Drakmech uncloaked (This is Kurt).

"It is not. It's your own fault." Kurt said. After which he started rolling on the floor laughing.

"It's not funny!" Takio yelled as Rem started laughing. "Stupid dobermans... stupid three story window... stupid concrete... thank God I have a skull of steel..." Takio finished.

"Well, *giggle* at least *giggle* you didn't break any bones." Rem said as she stopped laughing.

"Anyway... who's that little Drakmech on Kurt's shoulder?" Takio asked while Rem gave Vash a carrot.

"That's Knives, Vash's brother." Rem replied as Kurt gave Knives a turnip.

"And why do they like vegetables?" Takio asked stupidly.

"God are you ever stupid..." Kurt replied.

"I don't like you..." Takio uttered.

"I heard that you little weasel!" Kurt yelled as he tossed a water bottle at Takio's head. This, of  course, hits him... knocking him out.

"Now you've done it." Rem said looking at Kurt evilly.

"I didn't do anything... this is gonna hurt isn't it?" Kurt asked.

"Yep." Rem replied as she kicked him in the balls (does it get any more perverted and painful?) and walked out of the room.

The next day everyone is fully recovered from Rem tossing Takio out the window.

"I never got to ask..." Takio began when Mr. Trinity interrupted.

"Did you find a house yet?" Mr. Trinity asked
"...No..." Takio replied.

"I see, well... Rem wouldn't like me doing this... but... you're going to live with us. Is that alright?" Mr. Trinity asked.
"Yes! Yes! A million times yes! I'd love to stay with you! But.. a single question... can I sleep in Rem's room... you know... with Rem?" Takio asked pervertedly.
"I don't see why not... of course that's up to her..." Mr. Trinity replied.
"Uh... I wun bother asking... bad things would happen..." Takio said.
"You're smarter than you look." Mr. Trinity said as Vash dropped from the ceiling onto Takio's head.

"Hey Vash, did ya get the pictures?" Takio asked  as Vash put his front left foot up and Takio grabbed the note attached.
"Heh?" Takio said as he opened it and was thrown out the window again.
"What did that letter say?" Mr. Trinity asked as Vash picked up the dropped letter and gave it to Mr. Trinity. He then burst into laughing. The letter was a Japanese wind spell that would blow a strong wind at it's opener(Takio). He was in the hospital again for head trauma (whoda thunk it?).

"Serves you right for sending Vash to take pictures of me in the shower, you pervert." Rem said.

"Yea, the least you coulda done was give him a cloak like I do wi..." Kurt began as Rem shot an evil look at him. "Oh damn... the cat's outta the bag..." Kurt finished.

"Where are they?" Rem asked still looking at Kurt evilly.

"U...under Takio's bead, the one not reserved for him in the hospital." Kurt replied in a scared voice.

"Thank's. You can have this." Rem said as she handed him a letter and walked away.
"Thanks." Kurt said as he started to open the letter.

"Uh Kurt... you should probab..." Takio started as Kurt opened the letter and was rushed out the window by water. "Hmmm... a water spell... she must like him better than me... he got a cushion for landing too..." Takio said disappointed.

Another day passed and once again everything is fine. Kinda...

"What do you mean he's staying in this house!?" Rem yelled as she walked into Mr. Trinity's house and saw Takio unpacking.

"Well... I thought you wouldn't mind." Mr. Trinity replied.
"But Takio's a pervert! How am I supposed to protect myself?!" Rem yelled in annoyance.

"You've been doing fine with that without any help." Mr. Trinity replied. "I know that! But still, Takio's even more perverted than Kurt!"
Rem yelled again. "Uh... excuse me... I just thought I'd get the mail for you.

"There's some weird newsletter here. The Kaniko Army Gazette... that sounds crappy..." Takio said as he handed Mr. Trinity the mail.
"The Kaniko army is an army as the letter says. They are our enemies. They have even stronger Drakmechs than us. Vash and Knives are the only two that have been able to defeat them in one hit." Mr. Trinity said.
"So they're who I fought against. But was the thing I fought a Drakmech?" Takio asked confused.

"No, that was a normal robot. There is something about the..." Mr. Trinity began as something in the letter caught his eye. "Uh, Takio... go get Vash, Rem... call Kurt, have him get Knives over here... tell him to meet us at the base." Mr. Trinity finish as they all walked out the door, Vash on Takio's head.

"Why did you call us? Today is our anime day, you know I don't like leaving my tapes running." Kurt asked annoyed.

"Oh... call the movers and have them move your tapes to this base." Mr. Trinity said.

"Why?" Kurt asked.

"The Kaniko army sent a late newsletter. Your mail comes late, so you never see these. The battle is set to take place next to your house." Mr. Trinity replied as Kurt grabbed his cell phone and had the movers take all of his precious gaming equipment, manga, and anime tapes/DVDs and moved them to the base.

"When is the attack scheduled?" Rem asked standing next to Takio who had a stupid look on his face(stupider than usual).

"In an hour. You and Daisy will stay out of this battle, let's see how well Kurt and Takio work together." Mr. Trinity replied.

"Uh... why do they tell us when and where they'll attack?" Takio asked stupidly.

"They think they can beat us. Let's show em a thing or two." Kurt replied.

"Ok... whatever. And who the frag's Daisy?" Takio asked.

"Daisy's my Drakmech. She's sleeping now." Rem replied.
"Alright, let's get going." Mr. Trinity said as they all walked to a garage where a jet was waiting.

"Cool! Can I drive?!" Takio asked loudly.

"No! My jet!" Mr. Trinity replied loudly as they all got in.

"Wow... all of the controls... and a fridge! Now all we need is a hot flight attendant." Takio said.

"Yea, I'm sure Rem can help us with that." Kurt said as Rem smacked him on the head.

"Perverts, both of you are hopeless!" Rem yelled as she smacked Takio as well.

"Ok... time to take off..." Mr. Trinity said as he reached for the ignition.

"Rem's clothes." Kurt and Takio chimed in quickly after Mr. Trinity finished.

"Perverts!" Rem yelled as she hit them over the head with lead pipes.

It took less than 3 minutes for them to get there, Mr. Trinity started to circle around the battle spot. "Ok. You two ready?" Mr. Trinity asked.
"Wait... aren't you gonna land?" Kurt and Takio asked as Rem gave Knives and Vash little parachutes(Kawaii!).

"Wait... what about us?" Takio and Kurt asked.
"You don't get any and we're not landing cause it's to dangerous." Rem replied as she sat in a chair and put a seatbelt on.

"Hey, that's not fair..." Takio and Kurt said disappointedly.

"Bye bye, have fun." Mr. Trinity chimed as he pressed a button and Vash, Knives, Takio, and Kurt fell from the plane.
Knives and Vash pulled their kawaii parachute ripcords and floated to the ground safely as Kurt and Takio continued to fall. "Dude... this sucks..." Takio said as he fell.

"Really? You think so?" Kurt asked sarcastically as the ground grew ever closer and they both prepared to land in a kneeling position. They hit the ground forming imprints of their knees and feet, then they fell over with tears and whimpers of pain as Vash and Knives landed, happily chewing on a carrot. They stood up still whimpering as two exact duplicates of Vash and Knives walked up.

"What the frag?" Takio asked in wonder as the two transformed into a clone Vasharo and Knifegar (Knives' Mech version).
"Oh shit!" Takio and Kurt yelled as they ran over to the real Vash and Knives.

"This is a good time to transform..." Takio and Kurt said as the clones aimed cannons at them.
Vash and Knives started to glow and grow into their mech forms.

<Intermission> Hey again, this is my couple of sentences, so listen up. I just thought of some great riffs for the fight scene, if you like it, then good for you, if you don't... I couldn't care less. If you don't know these... then you need to watch more anime...<Intermission>

<Trigun Battle EP1 Riff/Unknown/Trigun>"Let's do this!" Takio yelled as he appeared in the cockpit of Vasharo and Kurt appeared in the cockpit of Knifegar.

"Let's show em what we got." Kurt said as he had Knifegar pull a black gun(like Knives' gun in Trigun) and aimed at the cloned version, it mirrored him exactly. He began to shoot and run, destroying buildings on the way as the clone followed him move for move as the two Vasharo stood still, staring each other down. The two Knifegar's mirrored each other move for move.

"I don't understand... he moves at the exact same speed as me... and neither of us have landed a single god forsaken shot!" Kurt yelled in annoyance as he started shooting again, the other version did as well. Takio noticed a slight light coming from behind the Vasharo clone, but took it as nothing at all. The two Knifegar's stopped and aimed the the cockpit of the other.

"Die you loser!" Kurt yelled as he pulled the trigger as did the other Knifegar. Their bullets went right through each other without a scratch.

"What the hell...?" Takio asked himself as he had Vasharo walk up to the clone, the clone, of course, did the same. Their hands went right through each other.

"Thought so." Takio said.

"What do you mean?" Knives asked growling.

"Well, they got you to unload all of your ammo into that fake clone, this did nothing because those clones aren't even there. So, my guess is that there is a cloaked unit or two somewhere around here projecting these images." Takio replied.

"Right, Mr. Trinity, can you send us the data to uncloak cloaked units?" Kurt asked over the radio.

"Can do. Done." Mr. Trinity said.
"Alright, the screen's clearing the images up... there, it's done, there's two stationary units with mounted machine cannons." Kurt said.

"I can see that." Takio snapped back as Vasharo and Knifegar pulled a beam sword and started to glow.

"Beam Blade Strike!" Takio and Kurt yelled as they released their energy into the beam blades and shot the beam sword's blade into the units, destroying them.

<END>

"Dad! Why is Kurt moving into the room right next to mine?!" Rem asked angrily.
"Well... Kurt ran over his own house, so he's staying here."
"If he try's anything I'll..." Rem began as she felt the back of her skirt start to rise. She picked up the heaviest paperweight on the desk and tossed it at the person's head.

"Ow!" Kurt and Takio yelled(the weight bounced off Kurt's head onto Takio's)
"Perverts!" Rem yelled as she threw them both out the window.

"Here we go again!" Takio and Kurt yelled as they fell.

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Wheee!!!! That was my best fic yet! And it's only the second chapter! Cool! Well, the next chapter will be delayed for about 2 months. I'm going to summer camp. Have fun, and remember.. Fuzzy Rodents Rule! (referring to fuzzy and feathery and cute beast/fiend Yu-Gi-Oh! monsters. Such as Kuriboh.

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