Narration tips for chapter 3 - present/3rd person Narrator, flashback/1st person Victor
To those of you who have reviewed:
Akari: Glad you like it, and the phantom renegade will be in chapter 5 I promise!
Victor Tom and Rokusho we’re running down a long circular stair way. A very long stairway. Tom was in front, keeping a fast pace, Rokusho and victor were trading off between second and third occasionally and warbandit and metablue were a ways behind after getting rid of some rubberrobo distractions. Tom then tripped. A pause followed the trip when victor and Rokusho both collided into him. And they rolled for some fifteen feet when an unintentional joint effort to stop that included two hands reaching for the railing and a pipo hammer hitting the stair in front of the owner did the rolling mass stop.
“That was a painful experience”, “ow” and, “What just happened” were the three chosen responses by victor Tom and Rokusho respectfully. They then continued running, but much slower, and Rokusho held the lead. The uncoordinated Tom was in the rear, why? Well, um, honestly we may never know, but anyway, they ran. Until they were too tired to run anymore. Tom had to ask something, “Victor, how did you find out Doctor Aki was planning something?”
“How did I find out he was planning something.” Victor put his hand to his chin like a cartoon private eye and caused both Tom and Rokusho to sweat drop. Rokusho had seen this type of person before “Is it a genetic trait for you’re family members to tell long stories?” The question was never answered because victor fell into story.
“Well it was three days ago when my first suspicions came into place…”
- Three days ago -
“WHAT!” boomed victor’s voice to the morning secretary that the special bodyguards met everyday, “He’s not here!” I was just a little angry at discovering Dr Aki had gone missing.
- Present -
“A little angry eh? Victor do you realize that you nearly killed the secretary out of rage and then nearly bit off belzelga 4’s hand in paranoia.” Tom paused thinking, “An action which, to remind you, would have cost you your head.”
Victor had been growing several anger symbols on the back front right and left sides of his head and jumped to strangle Tom when Tom said flashback and the whole group faded into one.
- Three days ago (Again) -
Victor is now biting his nails while sitting in a chair with belzelga 4 looking at him like he would punch off his head at any time. (Makes sense to why he was paranoid) Koji looked at Victor. “Well its official victor has gone off the deep end…” he sighed. Tom was typing on Doctor Aki’s computer with Ikki, Metabee, metablue, warbandit, and sumilidon looking over his shoulder as he did a bunch of things. “Nope, no, un-uh, zip, zilch, zing.” As I remember Tom seemed to be going nowhere. (Cue more sounds/words symbolizing zero/nothing) “Damn it where could doctor Aki BE!” It was that day that we all discovered you have a habit of pacing Tom. We all had no clue what to do. Until Metabee had some clue, which in the end was fruitless but it, was more than everyone else had.
(Metabee has an un-lit chandelier over his head) “HEY!” the chandelier lights up. It is revealed that belzelga 4, in the process of leaving the room, accidentally flipped the switch. “Why don’t we ask Karin where Doctor Aki is!?!” So we all went to the heliport on the roof, hopped in a surplus apache and flew off to the residence of doctor Aki.
-About three hours after the last flashback –
“What Karin isn’t here!?!” said metablue, “Well if she’s not here where is she!?!” When the gang (the bodyguard gang) rang at the door they had gotten an inter com. Now a small voice in fear, like everyone but Metabee, answered an enraged metablue’s question. “A-a-at s-s-s” “OUT WITH IT MAN OUT WITH IT!!!” “Rosewood private academy don’t hurt me” (With each font change his voice became higher pitched faster and quieter) I remember that Koji looked fairly embarrassed for some reason at that. (It’s called he was supposed to be at school and doctor Aki was actually hacking into the school security system in order to make it seem like both Ikki and Koji were at school) So we took the apache, again, this time to rosewood, and we landed at the principal’s office, Koji volunteered to stay at the chopper in case Karin came along. So we ran along. And finally in classroom 423,126 A we found her.
Pant-pant “423,130 classrooms and she had to be in 423,126 A, why is fate so cruel, WHY!” Ikki droned. It was now three in the afternoon; chances are even if Karen was here and even if she knew where doctor Aki was we would never find him. At this point Tom left to get some meat, I never quite knew why.
“Victor, you don’t know why I got the meat?” victor nodded no. “Remember the tank we jumped into when we left? Well I was just testing to see if it was the shark tank in the aquarium. Some meat a little drop of blood. Half an hour later the meat was there. We were good.”
-3pm three days ago-
Ok, so Tom went to get the meat, Ikki, Metabee, metablue, warbandit and I went to the class room to find Karin. That’s where we met that kid, H something or another, um, oh yeah, Haichiro. He was begging Karin to do something or another. Then he saw Ikki and me. And says something like, “Oh you two are the greatest, lets robattle!” Well me Ikki and metablue, metablue joined in just for fun, crushed him. The kid left before we could do anything. So we asked Karin if she had seen her dad lately. She said, “No.”
“Man that was a letdown…” the bodyguards all sighed. (Not Tom, he was still getting meat) “Why don’t you guys know where he is, after all you are his body guards?” “Yeah well, um he didn’t show up at the Medabots corp. so we thought he might be at you’re house and when we found out that he wasn’t there we thought you might know where he is.” Victor took in a deep breath after that run on sentence. “Well I haven’t seen him all day.” I was about to say something about back to stage one when the rubberrobo’s arrived, in a helicopter.
One had some megaphones so that another could shout over the helicopter. “HEY DOCTOR AKI”S BODY GUARDS!” “Yea?” “WHAT! I CAN’T HEAR YOU!” “YEA!” “GUESS WHAT!” “WHAT?” “WE, THE EVIL RUBBERROBO GANG HAVE YOU’RE PRECIOUS DOCTOR AKI! muhahahahahahahahaha…” “WHAT!!!” “I SAID, MUHAHAHAHA.” “OH, WHERE IS HE!” “IN OUR EVIL SECRET LAIR!” “WHERE’S THAT?” “JUST OFF ROUTE 3 IN RIVERSIDE, IN THE OLD ABANDONED FACTORY ON FOURTH AND VINE!” THANKS!” “YOU’RE – HEY YOU GUYS JUST TRICKED ME DIDN’T YOU!!!” “Fire!” both Ikki and victor said. “WHAT DID YOU –” BOOM!! The chopper was down and we knew where doctor Aki was. “Now to get out of this place.” Ikki said as he ran outside to Tom who was looking at his meat I guess.
“Tom, guess what!” “What?” “Doctor Aki is in the evil rubberrobo lair at fourth and fine just off route three in riverside!” “Oh.” Up to that point to had looked bored. Then he got really hyper looking and said, “I found a way out!” and pointed over the railing. Ikki Metabee and metablue all looked over the railing, “where!?!” “At the other end of this tank!” Metablue stopped calmed down and looked at the bouncing Tom, “But wouldn’t that mean we have to” Tom grabbed metablue and Metabee and threw them over, “JUUUUUUUUUUUUU-” SPLASH. He kicked Ikki off while grabbing and throwing warbandit. He said something about getting out at the other side when he threw warbandit and then he touched me.
There was a long pause when an anticipating Tom and a wondering Rokusho looked at the now calm victor walked along the steps. The pause went for five minutes. When Rokusho had to ask, “Well?” Victor looked at his feet and mumbled, “I’d rather not relate the tale-” “-SO I WILL!” said Tom taking over in present time. Now instead of a flashback is a cruddy crayon and pen outline picture of Tom gently holding victors arm. “I touched victor and he tried to strangle me, so I’m like not in the mood k? K, so I grab his had pull him up to me punch him in the gut pick him up spin him around grab a bench put him in it and use the bench like a spear. Throw the bench about 20 feet and victor 50. I think victor hit Ikki when he did hit the water. A whole 72 stories down.” Rokusho opened his ‘eyes’ really big and his jaw would have hit the floor, if he had had one. “The pool was 300 feet deep it simulated a full ocean environment up to 300 feet.”
Victor took over here. “Yes he did all that. Then he grabbed onto the railing and used it as a vertical springboard to propel himself 90 feet somehow over the 72 story space. Then when he hit the water he shattered the glass two seconds later and we all went out that way.” “Oh I see” was all Rokusho had to say. “Rokusho WAIT!” He waited, “don’t you want to hear about doctor Aki?”
At that precise moment metablue and warbandit ran down the stair screaming, “RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIIIIIIVES!!!!!!!!!” Then several missiles and a laser came through the hallway, the missiles hitting the wall the laser cutting through the center of the stair way.
End chapter 3
How do you like that, we learned some things today.
1 – Victor has mental issues
2 – Tom has mad skillz
3 – The guy metablue and Warbandit are running from has a laser and can shoot missiles
4 – The rubberrobo’s are stupid
Oh and uh doctor Aki got caught by the rubberrobo gang.
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